Where a person experiences brain injury after maturity they have often formed some expectations of life and its quality. A key component of this is their social or peer group - people with whom they associate by mutual choice. After a brain injury there often is a radical reduction in quality of life of which a principal feature is the loss of their social group for a variety of reasons; sometimes they have suffered another injury as well which places limitations on their activities or they find that they just no longer fit with the group that they did prior to brain injury. Frequently the only people involved in their lives are family or paid professionals; those on whom a real or perceived obligation is recognised. These associations are not a substitute for the fee associations of their pre-injury life nor are they intended to be.
So the question arises as to what may contribute most to quality of life, what can replace previous free associations? Others who share the experience of brain injury offer the potential for free associations that can have a marked impact on quality of life but they are subject to a number of limitations. People participating in a brain injury group are extremely disparate in many respects; the extent and nature of injury, their prior life experiences and choices among many other factors. If the group is sufficiently diverse then the possibility of encountering a kindred spirit is raised but other factors can mitigate against the success of these encounters in making a positive contribution to quality of life.
One such factor is time; Many people are gathered for only an hour or two at a time. For some this time even if unstructured is the cause of flooding. In groups a longer period of unstructured association is necessary to explore the opportunities for friendship that other members of the group may afford. This is why it is extremely important for those facilitating a group to plan activities of longer duration so that friendships can germinate. Once these friendships become established the need of longer periods together is not so paramount but remains an integral part of the delicate process by which brain injured people can experience greater quality of life.
I have been privileged to be among many gatherings of people around an outdoor fire. Usually in the evening but also in the day. The fire usually begins as a larger blaze forcing people (usually around 30) away for the fire into a large spread of people on the rim of a circle. During this stage of the fire conversions and interactions are mainly between adjacent people in the circle and there is no one group conversation although they can briefly arise.
While this time in the culture is of great worth in generating or reinforcing acquaintances and friendships, the greatest quality for me is achieved as time continues and the fire burns down to mostly red coals. Then the group comes closer to the fire and gradually reduces to a single, sporadic or even no conversation. Onlookers might view this as boring but it can be a time of great peace and communion for the people who have remained (usually 10 or so).
I have also found this fire culture in other groups of people in circumstances not involving fires. It has a recharging effect not able to be adequately described by me but of tremendous power. My hope that this time of calm peace can be available to those whose lives have been impacted by brain injury. It is not always be achieved nor is it something that can be artificially generated. Un-pressured time is the primary ingredient.
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